Is it ironic to anyone else that this topic comes up on Valentine’s Day? The day that is supposed to be full of love. I don’t enjoy this holiday, whether I’m single or not but this is a difficult topic for me. Is a few years ago considered recent enough? Or could this be just a couple months? I’ve been hurt quite a bit. And the crazy thing is, it’s always the people you least suspect, that end up hurting you the most. So with that…
To the People Who Have Hurt Me Recently:
It’s fine that you don’t like me. Quite honestly, after the last few months, I’m not too fond of you either. Sometimes it blows my mind that just a few months ago, we were good friends and you actually wanted it to be that way. I’m not sure whatever changed with you and while it took me some time to accept, I’ve come to the point that it doesn’t matter. I’m at the point where I’m not going to fight for your attention or to hang out and be friends again. Honestly, I don’t care. There are people out there who are true friends, who want to spend time with me, who want to be my friend – those are the people that I want around me anyway.
Here is what gets me though: Why is it that you must talk bad about me behind my back and convince others that it’s “not okay” to hang out with me or be my friend? Why do you even care? Can’t you let people make their own decisions on who they want to be friends with? The fact is, people leave and tell me now it’s “okay” for us to hang out….actually, if you’re making it such a big deal for them to not be my friend that they believe you, well lucky for you, I won’t be their friend because I don’t want those kinds of people in my life either.
Thing is, we aren’t in high school anymore. I’m not sure if you’ve realized that yet. In fact, we’re adults; we’re in this thing they call the “real world” and things like this don’t fly here. I know right now you think they do, you think you’re in control, but you’re not. I know you don’t think I see right through your “be nice now that I’m in the office” attitude change, but now you’re finding out, I do. And it has no positive affect for you.
Also, let me point something out to you. I have a world, a life, friends outside of “this world” and I’m over allowing you to bring me down and make me feel bad about myself. I’m not sure your reasoning for it, especially since we used to call each other friend but just know your time of being in control is over.
I know they always say “the good girl/guy always finishes last” but I refuse to let that be the case this time. I highly doubt you’ll read this or if you do, I’m sure you’re laughing and joking around. But I don’t care. 2011 is about me, improving my life, and surrounding myself with people that make me feel good about myself and are supportive, and taking the steps that I need to improve my life and my career in all aspects.
I wish no harm upon you. I’m not like that. I just wish that one day, you will wake up and realize that your behavior is childish and you will grow up. That you will see the positives in everyone, not just their negatives. Open yourself to seeing your own personal downfalls so that you can spend each day working towards improving them, not hiding your insecurities by being rude to others. People will respect you more if you can admit and own your mistakes, not point fingers at other people or lie.
In no way am I saying I’m perfect, because I am not. But what I can do, is admit when I do something wrong, mess up, and that I am far from perfect. I have taken initiative to work on fixing the things I don’t like about my life, about myself so that I can be more confident and happy. I’m sorry that right now, you can’t do the same.
All the best,