Today I find myself staring at a blank page trying to decide exactly what I want write about. While I have quite a few ideas rushing around my brain, I can’t seem to stop and focus on one long enough to actually think it through before it rushes away. It’s weird.
I always say I want to run a 5k race, yet I never actually do. It’s not because I can’t run the distance, I can, I think it’s because I get scared and need an extra push. I always ask people to do 5ks with me and while I can get them interested, it’s up to me to pick the event and that’s usually where my brain takes over and freak out begins making it never actually happen – and then the other person never follows up.
Lately I’ve been trying to work back into my time and distance from last summer and I seem to be struggling. I took the winter off because I needed new shoes and now I have new shoes and I’m having trouble getting back into it. I want to run but my lungs don’t – at least not the distances that I want them to. I’m trying to take it slow and easy but I’m growing impatient and there are some events coming up that I really want to be ready for.
One of the other amazing things about the company I work for, is their push to support wellness among the employees. I’m sure most companies have some kind of program or it’s built into their health benefits, Apple is the first company I have worked for where I have seen this kind of a push. Want to quit smoking? They want to help. Having a hard time with something? They want to help. Want to lose weight or improve your overall health? They want to help.
Last year I took place in the “Cardio Challenge 2010” – a fun competition for Apple employees to not only work as a team but also set individual goals to achieve over the course of several weeks. My personal goal was to run 50 miles (over 8 weeks) which I did (technically I did it in 6 weeks because I started a week late and was sick another week). At the end I had such a sense of pride (and a new tshirt displaying my goal)! This year since they’ll be doing it again, I wanted to increase my goal to 100 miles but my lungs have me worrying this may not be possible.
One thing I need to do, is remove myself from the treadmill and get outside but I have this strange fear of running outside. It’s not a constant fear, it really only comes up near the beginning of each “running season.” (I make it sound like I’ve been running for a long time but this is really only the 3rd year I’ll be running). I think it’s really just the stress of figuring out how to carry everything I need (water, keys, ID, probably the inhaler too – stupid asthma). I bought a Camelback last year and while I loved it, I have this fear over cleaning those things and since you can’t tell what’s going on mid-tube, I feel like I need to replace the tube. It’s the paranoid person in me wondering if I did a good enough job cleaning that thing and now since it’s been a year since I used it, has it grown stuff I can’t see? Therefore, I’m kind of steering clear until I can figure out the best way to clean it or just buy a new insert. The “back pack” part of it obviously still works fine. The whole thing adds more weight but it keeps my hands free. Oh! And I need to buy a new Nike + because mine died right after the Cardio Challenge last year (pretty sure I should have been able to get it replaced because it didn’t even last 2 months)!
All I know is that I need to work on my running – downloading a new running plan now, buying a new Nike + tomorrow, getting over my fear of running outside this season as soon as possible. It’s just got to happen.
P.S. The title of this post comes from a Melissa Etheridge song called “I Run for Life” which is awesome and if you haven’t heard this song before you need to go to Google and listen to it. It’s gorgeous and inspiring and it’s Melissa Etheridge which means it’s got to be pretty awesome! 🙂