Did you expect anything different? 🙂
30 Days in a row. 90 mins per day. 2,700 minutes total.
That’s a lot of yoga. That’s a lot of breathing. That’s a lot of healing.
And I must tell you, I feel amazing!
I definitely ended on a great note with an amazing class this evening. I wish we were downstairs so it would have been heated but despite there only being three students, the room sure did get warm and I sweat, which is always the goal when I work out. (No, I’m clearly not one of those people at the gym who is afraid of sweating. I want to sweat. It gives me a sense of accomplishment in what I’m doing. Sorry…But at least I clean my machines when I’m done sweating all over them!)
Anyway, I have to tell you this was such an amazing experience! It wasn’t easy but at the same time, it was because my heart was so in it. I wanted the challenge and variety added to my workout but I also wanted the mental clarity associated with yoga. And the best way to see benefits from something like this, is to truly commit and make a habit out of it. So I did. And quite honestly, it saved my life. I fear writing that last statement and freaking everyone out because I know the initial thoughts that just popped in everyone’s heads and it wasn’t in that kind of way. But rather in the way that I learned to take control of my life, my thoughts and how best to deal with stress and fear – just BREATHE! If you’re someone who knows me well (and even if you aren’t), you’ve probably witnessed the anxiety, stress and fear that I used to allow to consume me at times. I’m not okay with that; I was never okay with that, I just didn’t know how to deal with it.
Solution: Breathe through it. Breathe through it all. And when you feel like you can’t push one bit further, breathe again.
It works. I’m now an advocate and you will find me telling you to keep breathing any time I sense your stress, fear, anxiety, sadness, whatever it may be. If I need to, I will go a step further and stick my phone in front of your face and make you breathe along with the “My Calm Beat” app that helps you regulate your breath. (I’m sure it does more than that, but that’s about all I’ve taken the time to figure out/use it for.)
In the past 30 days, I’ve become more positive. I’m not exactly sure when the change occurred, but the important fact is that it did. I became wiser. And the only way I know this is because I can now look back on parts of my life in a clearer mindset and see how I’ve removed myself from the rubble. I can confidently tell you, it will get better. All you have to do, is breathe and make a conscious effort to move forward. When you come back to me and tell me “it’s easier said than done,” I can agree and say “I know, I’ve been there. I made it through, so can you.”
I’ve often told you all that not every day is a good day; we all know this. We know to expect it but the key to these bad days is to look at them in just that way – A bad day. ONE bad day. ONE bad day in the midst of many good days. And stop and think about it, how many bad days do you remember? Like specifics that made it so terrible? …that’s what I thought. There are very few. And the ones you remember, it’s probably because of a significant thing (a break-up, death in the family, or some other major event). Not because someone cut you off in traffic. Not because your boss or coworker pissed you off that day. Not because you felt fat. You don’t remember those days. You know they happened, but you don’t actually remember them. Why? Because they aren’t important! They aren’t what makes you YOU.
Over the last 30 days, I pushed through more of the hurt of losing the band. I pushed through the feeling of loss and unknown in my life that overtook me after I lost them. I decided that I needed to create a new plan for myself. I decided that I could create a career, a life that included all of my passions, not just one. I signed up to go back to school; I bought my textbook, notebook and pens (nerd); I told everyone all about it and I have received a tremendous amount of support. I couldn’t be more excited about what is in store.
As I finished off this 30 Day Yoga Challenge today, I found myself a mix of giddy and nervous. I was excited to be able to say I did it and then work to finding the right balance of yoga, running, lifting and misc cardio in my life. But I was nervous – part because I was afraid something would happen making me miss my class (getting stuck at work, class being cancelled, something). But also nervous for the “after.” I’ve spent the last 30 days going to yoga every.single.day. It became part of my daily routine; part of my life, so there’s definitely a fear that I may not be able to maintain the same mental balance that I’ve developed the last 30 days. I guess this is where the real challenge actually begins. But since The Yoga Collective is having a summer special of $49 unlimited/month until September, I can find the money to continue through the summer – not everyday, but 3 or so days/week and then continue my 20-30 minute sessions at home on those other days.
As class was slowing down today, I found myself smiling. I was proud of how close I was. I found myself super relaxed and smiling while in Savasana. And when class ended, I had a great conversation with the instructor, Brianna, about yoga for people with Scoliosis. (I’ve been going to several of her classes and today she came over to me for adjustment and asked if I had a curvature in my spine and adjusted me to where it would be better for my back – it was amazing!) I guess she went to a workshop this weekend about “Yoga for Scoliosis” and was just beaming with excitement and information. She recommended a book which I’m definitely going to have to check out but it was just an amazing way to end the class and to end the challenge – with a feeling of community and connection. I grabbed my stuff and as I was walking out, one of the other ladies in my class told me to “have a good rest of the weekend.” Why is it that something that simple, can make you feel so good? I was walking down the stairs from the building, out the front door and to my car with tears in my eyes. I’m proud. And I feel amazing!